My Father

(Make sure your sound is on, I picked my playlist specifically for this post. The first song reminds me of how grateful I am that my father and I were able to establish a good relationship in the last years of his life.)

On Thursday, May 27 I was driving to Missouri to visit my sister Lisa. I had the four kids by myself and I was getting tired of driving, so I thought I would call a few people to perk me up. I called my father and spoke with him for 6 minutes. That was the last time I ever heard his voice. I'm so thankful that I called him. I knew something wasn't right in his voice, he was weak and his speech was slurred. After I got off the phone with him, I told the kids we had to pray extra for Grandpa. I also had a talk with the kids about Heavenly Father's plan for us after we die.

May 31st, Lisa and I had put the kids to bed and we were exercising. The phone rang and my first thought was, "how annoying...we're in the middle of a workout." Lisa answered and whispered to me, "Dad died." I'll never forget those words. At first I didn't believe it. I asked her, "are you sure? For real, Dad's dead?" The kids hadn't fallen asleep yet and I shared the news with them. We cried together.

I'm so thankful that I could be with my sister, my best friend, when I found out. She is the rock of the family and the support I needed.

Howard was home within 72 hours. And now I feel like I'm in a dreamland. I'm still sad about my father's death, but I'm on cloud nine that Howard is home. Howard will be home for 2 weeks and then he has to return to Afghanistan. We get to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary together. Another blessing!

At least my Dad had good timing.

In remembrance of my father, Rollo Gordon Fristad.

This is more for my closure, but please enjoy his memory along with me.

Born August 31, 1940

Riverside, CA

This is Dr. Selleck who baptized my father when he was a baby.

June 21, 1980

My parent's wedding day

Riverside, CA

(not a happy marriage, it only lasted 5 years)

This was taken around 1988. Clockwise - My dad (age 48), Erik (age 8, step-brother), Gloria (step-mother), myself (age 7), Kristen (age 6, step-sister), Lisa (age 9, sister).

My father was married to Gloria for over 20 years, until his death.

This is what he loved to do...fishing. He owned several boats throughout his life.

Here he is in 2006 when he came to Okinawa to visit me. This was the WWII battle sites tour that we took. The stairs were very painful for his knees.

At the Botanical Gardens in Okinawa. This time Howard pushed him in a wheel chair since there was so much walking.

This is the only picture I have of us together as adults. Too bad I was always behind the camera. It makes me really sad that I didn't take more pictures, but whenever we would get together for a visit, I always enjoyed the moment and would frequently forget to snap away.

This was May 27, 2009...my last photo of my father. Luke was a few months old and cried the whole time my dad held him. I'm so glad he was able to meet all of my children.

As a child I was afraid of my dad, he was a big scary man to me who had a mean scowl like a grizzly bear. As a teenager I distanced myself from him, enjoying my life without him.

As an adult Howard encouraged a reconciliation and in November 2001 my dad came up to Washington State to visit me. He stayed about 36 hours, but it was probably the best 36 hours I've ever had with him. I'm so grateful that I had 8 1/2 more years with him. He truly became the father that I wanted. I could trust him, ask for advice, and learn from his life experiences.

In his later years of life he changed from a fierce grizzly bear to a cuddly teddy bear.

I'm so thankful that I could see the soft and gentle side of him, not every one was as fortunate as myself.

Here's a little info about my Dad.

He was in the first graduating class of Ramona High School, 1958.

His name appears in the quad of RHS in cement.

He served in the Marine Corp and even went to Okinawa for a while during his service.

He was married 4 times, had 5 children. One died in infancy.

Retired from AT&T.

Active in AA, sober for 30 years.

Volunteer Search and Rescue team member.

Avid hunter and fisherman.

Lived in Riverside until 1990 and then spent the rest of his life in the desert.

Built his own house in Morongo Valley.

Had all kinds of animals throughout his life...

horses

mule

donkey

goats

cats

dogs

chickens

birds

fish.

He had kidney failure, was on dialysis the last few years.

Quit smoking after his first heart attack in the late 1980's.

Knee replacement surgery, 2007. He had a heart attack on the operating table. We thought we were going to loose him then and the Red Cross had us home to California within 24 hours.

Triple bypass surgery in the fall 2009.

So as you can see, his death wasn't a complete surprise, but it's still hard nonetheless. I wish I could have had just a little more time with him. I now cherish the happy memories of him.